Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Daily Fail: Space Time Shuttle Chariot

First time here? Please take a moment and read the DAILY FAIL DISCLAIMER. Thanks!

Sometimes bootleg toys have very simple, straight-to-to-the-point names. Names like "Race Car" or even "Little Flying Boat." But sometimes the Bootleggers decide that a simple name just isn't going to bring in the bucks. So they....elaborate.

That's our cue to take a look at Space Time Shuttle Chariot.

As the title block shows, this final set in the BRICK Spider-Clone line is part of the larger "Super Bricks Series". Like the other five sets, this one comes in a box the size of a pack of playing cards with standardized (and poorly edited) BRICK Promotional slogans printed here an there. This time "Handsome Appearance" makes a showing on the package front, along with the Almost-LEGO-but-not BRICK logo.

The flip side of the package has the same artwork as the front, minus the logos and part counts. And that's where today's "fun" begins. In the upper right corner we find something interesting was obscured by the BRICK logo...

Why...that sure looks like an R2 unit in the droid socket of an X-wing, doesn't it? Yesterday we saw that BRICK had lifted artwork from a Greg Bear novel...could they have done the same with one of the bajillion Star Wars novels? While I couldn't find a match in a few minutes of half-hearted Google Image searches, I don't doubt it. And you shouldn't either. Why?

Because of what's hiding in the explosion just above Spider-Bootleg's head.

The scan above has been slightly color-corrected and sharpened - can you make out what's being blown up?

How about after I invert the colors? Yep - a TIE fighter. Clearly we're looking at a background image lifted from a Star Wars property. Apparently Spider-Bootleg wasn't going to be enough of a draw by himself.

Here's the instruction sheet - and, yes, step five has another micro-Spidey. I guess BRICK scores a few points for consistency. More important, though: Notice how stupid the model is. I really hope this isn't a stripped down version of some LEGO model - I'd like to think BRICK just built this out of whatever parts were left over from their other kits.

Our final Spider-Bootleg has some new problems - his hips are partly melted creating a bow-legged hero. And one of his hands is almost sealed shut by plastic overages. Plus, his paint job sucks.

Here Spider-Bootleg contemplates his "Chariot". It's a good thing that the flames and cones sit on the surface of the table - they don't snap into place. Yes, another BRICK model that shatters at the slightest touch. Are you surprised?

Not that it matters much - due to Spidey's melted legs he doesn't fit onto the pegs of the Chariot's floorboard. So he can't really swoosh it about, anyway.

Finally, Spidey gives us his rating for the full BRICK micro-impulse line.

What's that Spidey? A Big Fat ZERO??

We can't help but to agree.

As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.


Ben said...

in my opinion, this would be a better /interstellar battle plan/

C-Shorey said...

Maby we can have a powerminer building contest next!
WV: curve, YAY! A word...

Uh, Chris, my email doesnt work right now and Ive been trying to contact you for the minimizer, so we could work something out about cash or something.

Hope your feeling better.

Christopher Doyle said...


Why not just set up a free hotmail or gmail account? (It's not like I'm going to set up a cash transaction via anon comments in the blog!)

buzzyrapt0r said...

To me the explosion looks like the Death Star.

ryan08 said...

The name is so, uh, long. And dumb. Where do they get "Time" from? Or "Chariot"?

Oh, and:
"Chariots without rival..."

Bravo said...

Space Time Shuttle Chariot.

Probably one of the most awesomely named bootleg toys ever. Add Spiderman to the mix = golden.

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling that whoever designed and named this set was WAY too close to the lead paint storage, chariots chariots. Who will get that reference?