Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday FAIL: Warrior


The Friday FAIL

Every Friday at noon I showcase a real failure of a toy. And by "Failure" I mean "a cheap, crappy knockoff toy that should be destroyed before it infects humanity with some sort of degenerative disease".

But first: A reminder of some basic info. These posts are meant to showcase FAILURE, not to act as a catalog. I'm not selling these bootlegs, nor should you go out and look for them on your own. These are posts about what to AVOID buying. Go spend your money on real LEGO parts. You'll be glad you did.

Okay. That out of the way, let's move on to today's dose of FAIL, another impulse-set sized knockoff called....WARRIOR.




The image above is from the side of the toy's box. Like many bootlegs, the packaging is more of a draw than the contents. This small box is printed on all sides with shiny, full color graphics. I have no idea what the characters around the sword say, but "Warrior" is pretty straightforward. (And in a legible font, for once.) The toy shown is a mix of LEGO parts - The horse is fairly standard and has been around for years - the Warrior a mix of the 2007-2009 Castle offerings with a shield from the Adventure sets and a face from the Racers line.


(Click for larger view)

It's the strange choice for the Warrior's head that first gives you a clue that you're looking at something not quite legitimate. How often are the knights of the round table shown wearing sunglasses? Or a microphone headset?

The front of the box (above) gives us a fake company name and logo (Xin Qi Le) and an assortment number (7138 - not a number LEGO has used for any set at the time of this writing.)
We also get a part count of 18 - twice the number that LEGO would have posted for the same contents. But we'll cover that problem a bit later.


(Click for larger view)

The flip side of the box lacks the company and assortment information - showing a different photo of the Warrior. Sadly, the background is blurred to the point we can't tell where they stole their clip-art from.



Yet another panel from the box, showing the Warrior's caring and nurturing side. Note how the leaning spear covers the gaping hole in the side of the horse. (LEGO usually includes a saddle with their horses to help disguise this necessary design flaw in their mounts.)

At left is one of the side panels from the Warrior's box. The text reads "1:1 Scale" - I assume they were trying to copy the graphics LEGO uses on their packaging to show the actual size of the toys inside. The way this reads, though, you get the feeling that the bootleggers somehow crammed a full sized person in to a 3" x 4" x 2" box.

1:1 scale, indeed.

(Oh, and if anyone can translate the non-English part of this package, drop me a line at bat_hero@hotmail.com. I'd love to include that information here.)

It might be worth noting that despite the sword prominently shown in the Warrior logo, the figure doesn't come with a sword, just the spear, shield, and magic helmet.

My copy of Warrior came not only boxed, but carded as well. The box was blister-sealed to a cardboard backer that showed the other five sets in the Warrior's assortment.

(I'm saving images of that packaging for later as I'd rather not reveal those other sets just yet. Since the card didn't have anything in particular to do with the warrior figure (other than including an image of the front of the box) you're really not missing out on anything.)

That said, it's time to move on to the bottom of the Warrior's box. Pictured below, it has the lovely "engrish" statement that "Design is not stand for original product". Does that mean that the box isn't meant to be a figure stand? Is "stand" short for "standard", leading to a translation along the lines of "Product contents may differ from photos"? Or is it bootlegger code for "If you paid money for this set, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like for you to take a look at"? Sadly, the world may never know.



What we do know is that the Warrior is a Choking Hazard for kids three and under. Please write that down now, for later reference.


Opening up the box, we find a shocking lack of instructions. All we get is a poly bag filled with cheap plastic and a sticker.



Opening the bag we find how they reached their "18 part" count. They not only divided the mini-figure into its smallest components - they also tore the horse apart! (Or, more accurately, failed to assemble him at all.)

Of course, the parts included are only distant cousins of the bright and shiny parts shown on the box. The printed silver chest armor is now a brittle chunk of life-preserver yellow plastic. The other silver armor parts have been changed to black, brown, blue, or red.

And did you notice that this is definitely a "horse of a different color"? Yeah, LEGO has yet to go the "Red Horse" route with their product.


This closeup of the mini-figure parts shows another production change - instead of the sunglasses and headset, the figure's face is a bit more goofy - if still a legitimate LEGO part. The torso has a single color design on it that is traced from a much nicer looking LEGO torso.



Lifted from Bricklink, here's a couple of photos of the LEGO version of the parts. Much nicer, eh?


Assembling the parts - no easy task considering the horse was a bit mal-formed inside - we find a figure that sort of looks like the box.



Fully assembled, the Warrior is ready to head off and defend Bootlegs and their sellers. Don't worry about them, though - one strong breeze is enough to shatter this low-quality knock off.

Personally, I'm hoping for a really windy day.

--
Many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.

22 comments:

Crazy Ray said...

is this a rip to iron man?!?!!

takua-777 said...

is it just me... or does the horse look spooked in the first image?

Crazy Ray said...

i strongly recomend putting the bootlegs in the brick house (somehow)

WV:bonams

Ryan said...

When do we get the Motive Train review?

James said...

This was so funny... The headset/sunglasses combo on a knight made me lol, and the fact that the finished 'product' looked nothing like the box made it even funnier. Who would take a knight wearing sunglasses, red armour and a life-jacket seriously?

Great escaper said...

takua, its scared and ashamed to be included in this rubbish set. Feel sorry for it, it's probably only doing this to fund a drug addiction or something.

C-Shorey said...

Ok..
Its been two sets and i already feel like throwing My Brick set away or sending it to you to review it...

Want it Chris? Its bigger than the Ones youve been revewing... and all the pieces are there.(I will again shout out that i do not mix my knock-offs with my actual legos.)

C-shorey said...

I also have the instucktions and box...

Cat said...

At least the guy snaps onto the horse...not like last week's offering.

Pumpkinetics said...

...

RED HORSE.

Anonymous said...

sad,

WY. icarl

Geoffrey said...

Chris, could you please do us all a favour, and stop reviewing these imitation knock-offs, and send them to a plastics recycling facility that would recycle the substandard plastic into something safe and useful?

I am not only getting put off by these cheap rubbish clones I wish never to see any information about them again. Could you do us another favour and remove these entries from your blog post?

I don't particularly care if you put them in the knock-offs section of your website as I'm not going to visit there at all, please just don't write up blog entries for them.

Anonymous said...

Obvious Troll is Obvious

Crazy Ray said...

ive had a look at the new lego sets they realy good unlike these cheap knockoffs ill probaly get the new clone battle pack

WV:untheras

Anonymous said...

Wow. THAT is really an TOTAL RIP-OFF TO LEGO!!! And also lazily made.

Wrathkid said...

I understand it bootleg, and yet I want it!

I don't have a horse yet, and extra parts are always nice.

Do you think you could tell me where to buy that kind of stuff?

Anonymous said...

At least the bootlegs want you to recycle.

Kadzar said...

@Wrathkid:
I recommend you just buy a regular lego set with a horse in it. I have some bootleg lego and, trust me, you do not want.

C-Shorey said...

As I was trying very hard to find the significance in this set...
I was thinking... they probably used real lego's for the cover and threw in whatever they whatevered up.

Hey-- my dad has a plastic molder in our garage...
If i wanted, I could make bootlegs-

See how cheep these people are!?!

Brickulator said...

The head shown on the box is actually from Alpha Team. It's Charge. Anyway I think this is a good idea. You gonna review any mega blocks?

Captain yoda said...

Bootleg, and yet I still want it! I'ts the logo of this episode of FRIDAY FAIL, and the peices look even awesomer than the cover art! Where can i buy it? I know you'll call me stupid to go out and find it, but I really want it! Please tell me where to get it!?!?! PLEASE!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

DrNightmare said...

Oh man, I can't believe it took so long to realize that's a red horse, a RED HORSE! Thanks, dude-who-posted-before xD

Wow, and you get a slick sticker for the shield! YES!