Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Daily Fail: Awoke from the Nightmare

First time here? Please take a moment and read the DAILY FAIL DISCLAIMER. Thanks!

I thought yesterday's FAIL was a trip. I was young and foolish. The real problems started when I Awoke From The Nightmare.

This is the second set in the latest series of Zephyr Knight bootlegs. Stock Number 1009. While yesterday's FAIL had some ties to early LEGO Space sets, today's offering appears to be based entirely on the drug use alone.

The obvious question is: "If you've awoken from the nightmare, what the heck is this creepy stuff?" Are they suggesting the nightmare has followed you home somehow?

Well...think about it. At this point you've invited a bootleg set into your home. Just like Vampires, they now have free access. I'd call that a monumentally bad idea, wouldn't you?

I mean, even if the package's claim that "Every Styles Fully Wonderful" were true, it's still A BAD idea.

Does the TIE-fighter-esqu window in the castle mean anything? Are those bats or gargoyles flying around the tower on the right? And who the heck does that face belong to? It kind of looks like a Vampyric Sinéad_O'Connor.

The back of the package offers no hope, either. As part of Series Transformation, Awoke From the Nightmare is fated to appear to you in four terrible shapes - each more horrific than the last. It is also, as noted on the box, a choking hazard for children under six years of age.

The enclosed Mini-Figure is a gruesome skeleton cast from the LEGO mold - only in brittle, sharp plastic with untrimmed edges. The helmet is from the Insectoids LEGO line, cast in a ghoulish transparent dark green.

The enclosed toy is a strange mix of hoses, prongs, and control panels lifted from the Arctic Alpha Team. It has no visible means of propulsion. The parts don't fit together well, either.

Acid flashback or continuing bad dream, it means little. Awoke From The Nightmare isn't here to make your day any sunnier.

Better run.

Better hide.

Not that it'll help.
As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.


Ian said...

The nightmare is obvious, especially if you've read my book The Milkman.

It's an anal probe.

I'd run too.

Adam said...

That might be the best named bootleg ever.

Ben said...

If we "awoke from the nightmare, why is the bootleg still here

J said...

So I went back to the place where these things were found. I wanted to see if there were any that I missed grabbing for Chris.
Guess what? All the knockoffs were sold. The lady said they were a big hit. Luckily, (or is it unluckily?), she's expecting more in a couple of weeks.

J said...

By the way, I'm absolutely loving the reviews of these sets!

georged said...

I think I recognize the 'castle'. It's the settlement of the ewoks in Star Wars, which explains the TIE fighter window.

matthew said...

i know who the vampire is! its from the film"van helsing" one of draculas wives!!!!

Poopskin the liar said...

"Awoke from the nightmare" looks like it could be out of Turkish Star Wars with that box art!